27 February 2011

Awful apart

I'm sad to say that things have really fallen apart this month. A combination of heat stroke and stress over a government department wanting to do things that could force me to close down the small business that I've run for over a decade translated into a bout of deep depression, the worst migraines I've experienced in years, a small amount of weight gain, almost constant exhaustion and a very disappointing total of one outing for the entire month.

That's right, I made it to just one cafe night. The first time I'd missed one since December 2009 and I managed to miss 3 of the 4 Newcastle nights plus the Central Coast one, all in the space of one month.

The depression is fluctuating wildly from day to day but the bottom of the cycles isn't as deep as it had been. The migraines haven't gone. They're not as bad as they were, but they're persisting, usually setting in around late afternoon, at about the time that I'd normally be preparing to go out to cafe nights.

I've decided to make a conscious effort to put this month behind me and try to get out on both Tuesday and Wednesday nights this coming week, I've also got a nail appointment on Wednesday afternoon, and I'm hoping to go to it en femme, and perhaps do some other shopping.

13 February 2011

Recognition? Definitely not!

Back in November, I mentioned that I had been to an op shop where my sister-in-law's mother (I'll again call her E for convenience) volunteers. In December, I visited my brother and my sister-in-law, and no mention was made of E having recognised me.

While I was fairly sure that if E had recognised me, she would have said something to her daughter, I also thought that there might have been a small chance that she might have simply said nothing, so a lack of comment might have been inconclusive.

I visited my brother and his wife last night, and mentioned in conversation that I had seen E in the op shop and didn't think that she had recognised me. My brother jokingly said "you weren't in drag were you?", but I didn't get a chance to respond immediately, as my sister-in-law was telling me that it wasn't a bad thing that E hadn't recognised me, this being with the assumption that I'd been there as a male.

When I finally got a chance to mention that "I was wearing the wig that is closest to my natural hair colour", the conversation became somewhat comical, with everybody making jokes about it. I was not only reminded that St Vincent de Paul is a Catholic Church run organisation, but that E has some rather traditional views, and that if she had recognised me, my brother and his family "would have never heard the end of it." There was also a suggestion that my brother "would have been ex-communicated from the family" ... "with an axe" ... "or a chainsaw if she could work out how to start it."

While some of the comments were obviously a little exaggerated, I think that it's safe to say that if E had recognised me, my sister-in-law would definitely have known about it. Some of the people who know her best are quite confident that she would not have said nothing, so it's fairly safe to assume that she didn't recognise me. :)

05 February 2011

Goal failures

Well, I failed in my goal of at least 6 outings in January including one daytime outing, and I'm well on the way to failing that goal for February too.

I took holidays until mid January, and as I mentioned about a fortnight ago, going back to work really put me off balance. My workload has been so bad that I haven't had time to sit down and write blog posts let alone getting out.

Another couple of weeks on and things have been even worse than I anticipated. A planned day off fell apart because a client had a vehicle break down and couldn't get to me until the following day. A paperwork backlog has forced me to spend many hours in the office, usually meaning that I'm so late getting to bed that I struggle to get up at a reasonable time in the morning. That's another goal failure - I've made no progress sorting out my sleep pattern.

Then there was this week. We had a fairly mild first half of summer, but the past few days have been more normal for here. Temperatures have been around 40C (about 105F) since about 26th January. On Tuesday this week, I had to drive to several places around town for work. Each time I parked the car, it got very hot inside. Each time I drove to the next place, there wasn't enough time for the car to cool down, so I got hotter and hotter through the day. By the time I got home, I had heatstroke and had to lie down in a cool room with the curtains closed to try to recover. A friend suggested that I should take a cold bath, but the water coming out of the cold tap was quite warm!

I'm sad to say that I missed my first Tuesday night cafe night in well over a year. Worse, I had to go to Sydney on Wednesday for work, meaning that I also missed the monthly Central Coast cafe night. We went by train there and back and I made the mistake of letting my travelling companion choose where we sat. It was about 2.5 hours each way and on both occasions he put me in a window seat on the sunny side of the train, which added to my feeling unwell.

After struggling though work on Thursday and Friday, I was looking forward to relaxing and recuperating on Saturday and perhaps trying to go out on Sunday. My mother has other plans for me, though. She rang me on Friday evening to tell me that they are doing a big clean-up at their place and that I have to go there over the weekend to sort some possessions of mine that have been at their place since I left home over a decade ago!

The weather won't be cool, and I can neither fit my car in their driveway nor park in front of their house, so I'll have to lug whatever I want to keep up the steep driveway and along the street in the heat to load it into my car. If I do that Saturday, I will probably spend the entire day Sunday trying to recover from heat stroke again. That makes 3 planned outings in a row down the drain. :(

On the upside, I may well soon be unemployed and have much more time to get out. :)