11 April 2009

Facebook friend invites - episode 3, plus a day out shopping

Yesterday, for no obvious reason, I decided to send a few more friend invites on Facebook. I haven't sent a 2nd invite to anybody who ignored the first one, I've just sent a few more to various people who know me as a boy.

That included my father-in-law's sister, who, like her brother, accepted the invite soon after I sent it, without comment.

It also included my sister-in-law's husband, who popped up a chat with my wife asking "Who is Alice?" while she was in the middle of preparing dinner. I think that she responded with something along the lines of "Look at her profile and you should be able to work it out. I've got to go back to preparing dinner." It's over a day since then, and nothing more has been said to my wife or to me.

I decided yesterday that I wanted to do some shopping today. I'd broken the clip on my last adhesive bra (you can see that I use them for on wikipedia), and one place has them at 2 for $8, so I went there and bought 4. That was in the Hunter Street Mall, and getting there without paying for parking involved hiking from the top of Newcommen Street down to the mall and back. For those who don't know the area, it's a decent sized hill.

After that, I headed to Westfield Kotara to look for coloured tights, particularly purple ones to go with a body suit that I particularly like. One idea is to layer black lace tights over purple. I bought some patterned purple tights at Target, and while I was there I almost bumped into one of my wife's cousins, who only knows me as a male. He looked at me, then did a double take but didn't say anything. I turned away as calmly as I could manage and simply headed to the checkouts without looking back.

After browsing several other stores and buying a couple of things at DJs, I headed up to Charlestown Square. I hit the jackpot on the tights at Sussan. They not only had purple tights that are an almost perfect match to the body suit, but they also had black lace floral pattern ones like the one pair I've had for a couple of years and couldn't more of. They were on sale at $5 off each, too. I'm considering going back and buying some more while they're still on special!

I realised something sort of funny a while ago, and today reinforced it for me. Even if people read me as a crossdresser, they never confront me about it. It's actually easier to go out shopping as a woman and have few people even look twice than to go into "women's" shops and the "women's" department of shops as a man and have lots of people looking, whispering, etc!

There's a family get-together coming up for my wife's family. I'll be interested to see what is said, if anything.


  1. I love reading all this Alice, it's fascinating.
    Would you mind if I asked some questions?

    I know when I see men shopping for women's clothes/cosmetics etc I usually assume they're shopping for their wives and think it's sweet.

    When I see cross dressers shopping I think it's cool and want to chat to them (but never do).

  2. A lot of people will assume that a man is buying womens clothing for a wife or partner unless they are furtive and nervous about it, or make it obvious that they are buying for themselves. If a guy is calm and confident, most people will take little or no notice.

    I tend to be very confident when shopping for female stuff as a man. Sometimes it really is for my wife, but generally I don't care how others react. I was actually quite amused by the odd look that I got from a checkout chick at K-Mart a few weeks ago when I bought 3 covergirl items on a "buy 2 get the 3rd free" deal. The most expensive of the 3 things was for my wife. :)

    Depending on how nervous a crossdresser looks, generally the best thing to do is just smile as you would to any other woman you don't know. If they don't look too nervous but don't look really confident, it's sometimes okay to say "hi" and just leave it at that. If they're clearly comfortable with what they're doing and the opportunity presents itself, ask for their opinion on how something looks or compliment them on something.

    Directly approaching a shy or nervous crossdresser and talking to them is generally going to be very frightening for them, because that's what abusive people are most likely to do. Even if you aren't abusive, events like that can be traumatic enough to put someone "back in the closet" for literally years!

  3. Wow, I'm glad I haven't said anything then,I'd hate to set them back. I think I'll just do as you suggest and smile at them.